POiSON WORLD

You teach me now how cruel you’ve been – cruel and false. Why did you despise me ?? Why did you betray your own heart ? I have not found comfort since you broke my heart. You shouldn’t had done that. You have killed yourself. Yes, you may kiss me and cry and say you are sorry. You loved me – what right had you to leave me? What right – answer me – Because misery, and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will did it. I have not broken your heart – you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.

I was no different than them, yet I was saved.. I had left all that path long ago.. And I left it for us.. Only for us… I had always explained to you the way of life of a people who say every sort of wicked thing about me because I had not showed interest in them as they wanted. I left the dark paths of their duplicity , told you about my past and kept telling you about it from time to time. I had turned my eyes toward the light where there is salvation, truth and love. You where my light.. You where my hope…

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

But you exiled me from your life. You did’t believe me, like you did ever knew me .You didnt trusted me. You didnt did what I have told you. You did the worst thing to me that anyone can do to anyone else. Let them believe that there is love,trust and wanted and then showed that all was a lie infact a joke.
Thus with your lips you have denounced me, while my heart, bleeding within me, called you tender names. You made me a joke among your friends among your people and giving me a scar with each joke. Things have made me cruel… Each scar has made me SCARfACE. .  .  Now scars exist to show that I existed.

So this was betrayal. It was like being left alone in the desert at dusk without water or warmth. It left my mouth dry and will broken. It sapped my tears and made me hollow. Hard for me to take breath, to live.

Do I want to live ?? I can not live without my life !! I can not live without my soul !! What kind of living will it be when you . I may not rest as long as I live. There is nothing like wounded affection for giving poignancy to anger.

You said I killed you–haunt me then. The murdered do haunt their murderers.

You said you cared nothing for my sufferings !! And yea why would you after all I was a clown. A big joke.

Than “It was a mistake,” you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine. So much the worse for me that I am strong. I still have love for you.. But you annoy me the ways I cannt even imagine. And worse part is you are still doing it. Repeating the mistakes over again and again. And not learning from it.. Not doing what you have been told to do.. And that drives me mad !!

Blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare. But you are not even ready to do a single thing. You always think about yourself not for me. You never did. All you think about it is to feed your ego. To satisfy your ego. You never think about us but just about only you.

You always ask why I am always mad and angry. You always ask why I keep repeating myself over and over again.  It is because you havnt learned. You are still doing the same thing. You are not even sorry. Not single bit.

I don’t want to be there, simply because the idea of me being gone is too…scary. I want to be someone’s everything. I want fire and passion, and love that’s returned, equally. I want to be someone’s heart… Even if it means breaking my own.